Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Is Oprah even human
Gay?
German.
Pity.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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