Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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