the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
You've changed since you got that strap on
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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