Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
