During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
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