I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
