this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
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