So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
