FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Randomize