Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
