did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Im part way to drunk.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
