I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
your room smells of hookers.
And success
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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