I wish I could punch you in the face.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
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