Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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