I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
