This girl is more easily done than said...
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Church boner. Awkwardddd
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Randomize
