32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I think people are normalizing furries
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
