i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Randomize
