I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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