It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
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