At least make sure they are 18
Why
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
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