I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
