I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Randomize
