Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
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