Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
