just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
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