I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
