im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I made him laugh his dick is mine
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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