we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I touched a dick in church today
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
