fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
