Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize