i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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