Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
It's never too late to be topless.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
