I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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