Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Sorry my hands just texted you
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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