last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
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