Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
