Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
where am i from again
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Randomize