Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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