WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
40s are totally the cure
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
