ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
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