i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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