beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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