I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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