check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
