i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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