I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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