So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
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