the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
