You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
