How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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