He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
