You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
