Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
