smell my finger.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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