Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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