Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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