She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
