I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
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