its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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