At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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