I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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