i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
