I got chris browned last night
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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